Do you ever get over the loss?
I'm lonely. I'm lonely in the way that company wouldn't assuage me.
I would be lying if I said that I have completely stopped thinking of Eli. It's been over three years now, and he still pops in my mind once awhile. The subject of him comes up mostly when I'm pondering my relationships with men. Sometimes, I'm concerned that I'm not over Eli, but I don't really think that's the issue. It was just that that relationship was the one that had the greatest effect on who I am as a person now, and part of me is still reeling from how much one person can affect your world.
I racked my brain around that relationship trying to figure out what went wrong and what I could have done to make it work. It makes me dizzy to think about it, so I don't do it so much anymore. I've taken responsibility for my part in the success and failure of the relationship, and I think that's all you can do. Anyway, I can't be sure of anything because I think I need more than one perspective to really get to the truth. So, I just settle and try to think of the positive things.
One of the things that I have a hard time getting over was just how sweet he was on me and how much in love I was with him. It's been a long time since I felt that level of passion and intimate connection with another person. I really did feel like I couldn't live without him, and I believe it was the same way for him.
Anyway, it was for the best that we parted. I need someone who is less short-tempered and willing to communicate in the matter I like to. I feel it's important to use "I" statements to minimize blame and approaching the interaction with the intent to deepen the connection and not to be right. Compassion is a quality I seek in men now; the ability to imagine being in another's shoes is important to me.
I would be lying if I said that I have completely stopped thinking of Eli. It's been over three years now, and he still pops in my mind once awhile. The subject of him comes up mostly when I'm pondering my relationships with men. Sometimes, I'm concerned that I'm not over Eli, but I don't really think that's the issue. It was just that that relationship was the one that had the greatest effect on who I am as a person now, and part of me is still reeling from how much one person can affect your world.
I racked my brain around that relationship trying to figure out what went wrong and what I could have done to make it work. It makes me dizzy to think about it, so I don't do it so much anymore. I've taken responsibility for my part in the success and failure of the relationship, and I think that's all you can do. Anyway, I can't be sure of anything because I think I need more than one perspective to really get to the truth. So, I just settle and try to think of the positive things.
One of the things that I have a hard time getting over was just how sweet he was on me and how much in love I was with him. It's been a long time since I felt that level of passion and intimate connection with another person. I really did feel like I couldn't live without him, and I believe it was the same way for him.
Anyway, it was for the best that we parted. I need someone who is less short-tempered and willing to communicate in the matter I like to. I feel it's important to use "I" statements to minimize blame and approaching the interaction with the intent to deepen the connection and not to be right. Compassion is a quality I seek in men now; the ability to imagine being in another's shoes is important to me.
posted by Empowered Follower at
2:34 AM
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